The Silent Treatment!!!!

Wow! that’s all I can say! (covers face) I know my last blog said I was back full-time and then I just went off again ( yh yh I know).  Am sooo  sorry (puts on puppy face), there’s just been too much to deal with and in life one has to learn to  prioritise in every situation. Still not enough excuse,  but I apologise all the same.

Now to the matter at hand, hmm I want to talk about silent treatment. First of all, for those who do not understand what silent treatment is, it’s simply a way of communicating with someone without using words because they have offended you. Well correct me if am wrong but this is mostly common among girls or ladies like most of us like to be called (smiles).

Silent treatment mostly happens when someone has annoyed you and you expect them to use their sense to just magically know what they have done wrong. Now this is not you  telling the person ‘hey you offended me by spilling my drink’ , this is you ignoring the person when he/she says hi to you or just giving faces. Now I hope I have explained what silent treatment is all about.

I was reading an article and it just struck me that silent treatment could actually destroy relationships. When I say relationships, I don’t necessarily mean Man/Woman, I mean relationship generally e.g family, loved ones, friends and so on. Sometimes we do things that are clearly wrong and try to convince ourself that they are right. You never understand how silent treatment hurts until its done to you.

Am not trying to sound like the ‘all perfect Kemi’ , I am certainly guilty of this myself but like I would always point out, part of what defines our strength is the ability to always learn from our mistakes. I have also noticed that silent treatment could actually cause emotional stress for the receiver.

What is my point? My point is, communicate with words instead of punishing that person, and like my father would always remind me ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’. So when you decide that someone has offended you and you want to use your skills (silent treatment) to deal with the person, think of how the person might feel and if you would want it to be done to you.  So call that person you are giving silent treatment and sort out your issues today.

🙂

It’s been a minute!

Am sitting here on the bus from work thinking ….why have I neglected my blog for so long 😦 maybe because I have been involved in loads of things over the past few months or maybe because the inspiration to blog kinda ceased..lol. Anyway here I am, back with full force ( well I hope!).

Over the months, a whole lot has happened. Made mistakes, learnt new things, moved closer to God, made new friends, break-ups, make-ups, met targets, visited new places and so many more. Above all, no regrets whatsoever, thank God for that.

Today I haven’t got much to say, I just wanted to point out something. If u aim to reach a goal (positive :p) or achieve a target in life, don’t ever let anyone or any situation reduce your level of determination or confidence. In order words believe in yourself! Even if people decide to turn against you, still believe in yourself, work hard and ofcourse Pray. Oh! And don’t ever forget, God always has the best plan in place for you.
🙂

My beloved country

‘’Nigeria my beloved country

Working together is the key

Nigeria my beloved country

Our future is you and me’’

This was a song by Funmi Adams for Nigeria and many seem not to listen to songs like this again due to evolution of songs by modern artists. I used to listen to this song when I was little, and I had an uncle then who helped me to memorise the lyrics of the songs so much that it became my favourite song and I sang it almost everywhere I went.

If only GEJ would listen to this song and also listen to great nation by Timi Dakolo, he would probably gather some motivation to act up. Motivation to address the situation at hand with wisdom and proper sense, everyone keeps saying we need prayers, of course we do but then what will the prayer do if the so called leaders are busy spending lavishly when in fact they should be protecting masses. It’s just like going to an exam but you decide not to read and say I’ll just keep praying which kain miracle you dey find? Dame patience keeps shouting that pastor Adeboye has prayed for her husband well good enough he has, but still Nigeria needs strong leaders, leaders who have a sense of direction, leaders who understand the meaning of prioritising, leaders who would put the interest of the public over their selfish desires, leaders who would not put the life of people at risk all in the name of money.

153 people died!!! That is just saddening, everyone keeps saying GEJ was not the pilot but have they for once thought of the fact that he is the president and that he has power over every sector in the country, have they thought of the fact that he could have banned that plane from operating due to its malfunctioning, have they thought of the fact that instead of buying stupid private jets he could have tried to grant subsidies to the aviation sector, so they can get new air planes. The plane was 22 years old, if people are not allowed to bring in cars of more than 15 years why then would you allow a plane of 22 years to fly, yet again it all dies down to selfish desires. Then people blame Dana air for being selfish and considering profit, of course they would when the so called leaders of their country aren’t any better than them. They all spend money lavishly on luxuries, send their children to the best schools, and drive the best cars while the people they serve wallow in poverty.  If GEJ had sense of direction, he probably would have noticed things like Dana air plane of over 22 years and not things like changing the name of a University. Then he thinks of going for 2015, gosh the love of money is the root of evil indeed because if he loves this country as he claims, he would not even venture into thinking of another term. Fair enough, they are now taking actions, but these should have been taken long time ago, human lives do not need to be lost before the leaders take actions.

Am not blaming GEJ for the loss, because I get the fact that corruption is what made the owners of the airline put the lives of 153 people at risk, but if the government is going to stop corruption from happening then it should start from the government itself. You can’t be a corrupt leader and try to lead your people from corruption, No! You lead yourself out first and then you can bring your followers out. I think the main solution to this is to wipe out all these corrupt leaders especially all those PDP members because the government basically revolves round them and Jona was just a scape goat that was used to carry out their selfish and wicked acts. If he loves himself, I say again if Goodluck Eberechuckwu Jonathan loves himself, he should not go for another term. Simples!

I know my ranting will not bring back these lives, neither will it console their families but I just thought I needed to voice out my opinion (which I feel is the truth) to clear my mind even if it means pouring my heart out on my blog at least that’s my best friend for now. May all the souls of those that departed rest in peace, and may God keep and guide the families they left behind.

 

A slap to be remembered!!!

I watched a clip from big brother star game, not that I watch it often but I just decided to go and do gbeborun when I heard that some dude slapped a girl (yeah I love doing gbeborun once a while..lol). The first thing I said when I heard was ‘’naah it is wrong to hit a girl’’, but then I wasn’t going to judge until I had watched the video. So I watched the video on YouTube, and what amazed me was the fact that people kept talking of how it was wrong for the guy to hit her but no one mentioned how it was wrong for her to have provoked him. You don’t provoke a guy and expect make him siddon dey look you except the guy na very cool-headed young man like someone I know…lol

I mean who goes to peep on a guy in the bathroom when he’s not your b.f or your husband (wetin you dey find?). Well I know that big brother is a stupid show that condones all sort of immoral acts but if the guy doesn’t feel comfortable with the girl peeping on him then she should have gotten the memo that he does not want to do mummy and daddy..lol and she should have apologised instead of insulting him. Come to think of it, she asked for a slap and he gave her, so people should not only blame the guy for slapping her, they should also blame her. That is why it is not good to ask for anything without thinking because you never know you might just get it.

The words that come out of some women (especially Africans), are terrible because they can push you to the wall and even push you farther than the wall sef if space still dey. I mean women/girls/ladies (whichever one you call yourself) should watch their mouth; sometimes the words of your mouth may save a situation. For instance, if when the guy came to talk to her, she had apologised, the guy would have left without doing anything but the fact that she was swearing at him and even ran to block his way provoked him. The thing wey pain me the most be sey, some women na only mouth them get(errr I think am one..lol) they can’t fight, so why disturb the sleeping dog? Hmmm..please women should watch the way they talk to men.

Now for the guys, guys shouldn’t hit a woman regardless; in extreme situations the best thing to do is walk away. In fact do not exchange words with them, because that way you are showing maturity in its highest form. If the guy had just walked away when she asked for a slap he would have averted the trouble and they would not have gotten disqualified.Men should understand that some women talk like parrots(radio without batteries), they can talk for africa, they can say very mean words, but it is your duty as a guy to just keep calm and ignore her till she don finish.

As to my opinion, I feel two of them deserved to be disqualified and they should be sent to go for anger management class.

Please remember I said, I don’t watch big brother because on my part  I feel it’s a stupid excuse for a show, I only watched it just to see what people were yarning about. The end of my ranting, thank you for reading :D.

This is the video if you have not seen it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esvIoO_b8NM

N:B: Gbeborun means errr poke nosing(for those who do not understand..lol), and siddon means sit down..:)

A new month

A new month, a new beginning, a new start; it’s a new month and it’s precisely the month of June. The month June depicts a beginning of the second half of the year. It’s been a wonderful journey for me so far in the year 2012; I have made friends, learnt lessons, developed my communication and listening skills and grown closer to God.

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In the beginning of a new month, you should sit and ask yourself of the achievements you have accrued in the past month,  the things you have failed to do, the commitments you have failed to stand by, the promises you have failed to fulfil, the mistakes you have made and the lessons you have learnt. Now coming into the new month, you should endeavour to analyse these things and point out where you have done well and where you have not. In those areas where you have done well, you should try to keep your performance steady as you enter into the new month and in those areas where you have failed, try to ponder on the things that might have gone wrong, why they have gone wrong and how you can make it better. Ask yourself what you have achieved so far this year, if you cannot pin point anything, then its not to late to start working towards achieving something, so that at the end of year you can look back and say I have achieved this in the year 2012. A quote read thus: ”you are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream”

On a side note, I love this month!!! Lol. It’s my brother’s month, it’s the month when I finish my exams, its the month that shows  summer is fast approaching and lastly it makes me appreciate God so much, because half way through the year and am still alive, hale and hearty. No matter what problem you might be facing at the moment, put those worries aside because the fact that you are alive today is enough reason to show you that God cares. So don’t worry because everything is going to be fine: D

Happy new month everyone: D……Welcome to the second half of the year!!!!!!

A man of Vision

I would say the past few months have been really stressful, mostly due to the pressure from work and school,  couple with the fact that I have had to make some decisions that did not just go well with me. It got to a point when I sat down to ask what exactly was going wrong because the pressure seemed to be like a never-ending thing. This got to me so much that I could not even hide my anger, it was written all over my face. I started experiencing mood swings, happy this moment, sad another moment.  Then I said to myself Oluwakemi you can’t keep going on like this; anyway,  I braced myself up and said no matter what I will get through this. Now this brings me to my story

Long time ago, my aunt made me read a book written by this Nigerian guy, she did not only make me read it, she made me summarise it in writing. I felt that was punishment, two A4 pages of writing a story, gosh! All I did then was to just read the book and summarise without digesting its content. Little did I know that the contents of the book were powerful and inspiring.  Some days ago I found the A4 paper I used in summarising the book, I sat down to read it and I found out that it made more sense than I thought. When I read it, it felt like a load had been lifted off me; it felt like I found that motivation I was craving for.  You know sometimes when you feel a bit down and feel like everything is not going as you expect it to go, you just need that motivation, that encouragement, that vision to show you that you have a focus, the contents written on this piece of paper served as my motivation that faithful day and even till now it still does. I said I was not going to do any blogging until after my exams in June, but then after I read that piece of paper, my spirit lightened up and I told my self that I just had to share it, so here we go.

Martin Luther King and Abraham Lincoln

           

    Vision is the ability to see and also an ability to plan the future with great imagination.

  •  A man with vision is someone who possesses the ability to see what others do not see and think what others do not think. This can be explained in the sense that a man of vision is not taking in by failure, but says there is success when others are crying failure.
  •  A man of vision is upright when others are failing, not because he has the magic power but because he sees himself as a winner. A man of vision is always at rest and not frightened by difficulties for he knows what his future looks like. Becoming a man vision is not just a thing you say by mouth but you have to put in some actions to support your words.
  •  A man of vision always trusts in God because God has a planned life for us even before we are born.  God knows the future and our future can only be bright by depending on him to plan it for us.
  • A man of vision is never of anxious for anything because he will not be moved by any negative happenings. Since he knows what his future looks like; all he has to do is work towards it gradually with dependence on God.
  • If you want to become a man vision then you must never give up because winners never quit and quitters never win. Examples of men of vision that did not quit despite the troubles were people like Martin Luther King and Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln was defeated in business, legislature, as house of speaker, for the elector, the congress and many more, but still he did not quit because he had a vision. He later became the 16th president of the United States of America.
  •  One must see failure as an opportunity for success because a man of vision never accepts failure; rather he sees them as a set up for success just like the case of Joseph in the bible. Joseph had his brothers against him even to the extent that they plot to kill him, the wife of his master was also against him but he still succeeded because he never gave up and the Lord was with him
  •  As a man of vision, ‘’your vision determines your future’’. The poorest man on earth is not the man without a dime but a man without a vision. Most people are greatly packed with ideas but no vision to pursue them.
  • A man of vision must be focused and keep away from distractions because their aim is to distract you from being what you want to become.
  • A man of vision maintains positive attitude because those without vision, live in defeat, dream defeat because they never think of making it in life and they also think that success just comes by luck.
  •   For a man of vision, nothing is impossible because he depends on God’s word which says ‘With God all things are possible’’ so when everyone sees a situation as hopeless, he still believes that there is still hope.

Now from me to you: You have a future, depend on God, and trust in him for he has the master plan of your life. As a man of vision you must dare to dream big and I repeat DARE to, no matter how massive it might seem, never belittle a small start because to make it in life you have to start from somewhere. You should also make God’s word your standard and meditate on it day and night because God is faithful to those who follow him. Lastly, a man of vision must begin with the end in mind not minding how rough the road may be because you know someday you will get there.

I hope reading this has helped you just like it helped me. Thank you for reading 🙂

How strong are you in the face of difficulties?

Wow..being a while people, I have had so many people asking of my blog and how it’s coming up, so much love from everyone. Thank you people, it gives me joy to know that people care that much..:)..

My post for today was inspired by events that have happened in the past few weeks , so many things have happened..uhmm..I’lld say its being challenging so far but still, i thank God because He has being so faithful to me. Here we go;

‘Life is not a bed of roses’ many people really use this adage but only few people understand it to the deepest part. On a serious note though, life is made up of the good and the bad, it can’t just all be smooth, there is bound to be some rocky part. At one time or the other we have all had this time in our life where we have had to face some difficult situation, but the thing is, our strength lies in us making the best out of that situation. Difficulties in life are like challenges to see how strong you are, to see whether you are faint hearted, and to see how well you can withstand not living an easy life . Difficulties challenge you; it’s just like someone saying to you ‘common let’s see what stuff you are made of’. They try to overcome you by putting you into messy situations. The question is how do you overcome these difficulties?

Having an optimistic mind helps you to know that no matter what situation you are in, you would surely overcome it. If you are in a difficult situation and all you can think of is how to commit suicide, how you are not going to make it, or how you want to give up so bad, then you have a long way to go in building your determination. My dad would always say to me ‘a pessimist would see a glass cup with water filled up midway and say the cup is half-empty, meanwhile an optimist would see the same glass cup and say the cup is half full’. This explains the fact that people see life from different perspectives, a pessimist would only focus on the bad aspects of life while an optimist would try to see the good aspects of life or even see the bad and make the best out of it. A pessimist focuses on what is missing, what he or she doesn’t have – the half empty glass. An optimist, on the other hand focuses on what he or she has- the half full glass. What you tell yourself when you are in a difficult situation matters a lot because that determines your strength and weakness at that point. What do you tell yourself in the face of difficulties?

  • Do you say- I am definitely going to fail or you say I will pass no matter what.
  • Do you say- I feel like committing suicide now or I will overcome this problem because my God is bigger than it.
  • Do you say- I am going to give up or you say I am going to endure till the end.

What exactly do you say to yourself?

Here is a way out, when in difficulty think to yourself, I have an ambition, I am destined to be great, whatever problem I am facing right now is just a test of my strength and faith, nothing will stop me from succeeding not even the most difficult problems of life, I can do this!. Thinking positively this way will help you overcome your fears of whatever problem you have got.

The main point I would like to draw from all of this is- never ever let your difficult situations bring you down. Also for every situation you find yourself, always thank God because if you are shown the life of every single person on this earth, you would find out that there are people with worse situations.

The fact that you are alive, that you can walk, see and talk is more than enough reason to be happy despite the difficulties. Life can be full of difficult situations but it is up to you to make those difficult situations into favourable ones.

One last thing, whenever you face a difficult situation, have that faith and look up to God, He is right there just waiting for you to call on him…:)

I’ll leave you with this quote I found on the Internet;

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection – Thomas Paine

 

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