How strong are you in the face of difficulties?

Wow..being a while people, I have had so many people asking of my blog and how it’s coming up, so much love from everyone. Thank you people, it gives me joy to know that people care that much..:)..

My post for today was inspired by events that have happened in the past few weeks , so many things have happened..uhmm..I’lld say its being challenging so far but still, i thank God because He has being so faithful to me. Here we go;

‘Life is not a bed of roses’ many people really use this adage but only few people understand it to the deepest part. On a serious note though, life is made up of the good and the bad, it can’t just all be smooth, there is bound to be some rocky part. At one time or the other we have all had this time in our life where we have had to face some difficult situation, but the thing is, our strength lies in us making the best out of that situation. Difficulties in life are like challenges to see how strong you are, to see whether you are faint hearted, and to see how well you can withstand not living an easy life . Difficulties challenge you; it’s just like someone saying to you ‘common let’s see what stuff you are made of’. They try to overcome you by putting you into messy situations. The question is how do you overcome these difficulties?

Having an optimistic mind helps you to know that no matter what situation you are in, you would surely overcome it. If you are in a difficult situation and all you can think of is how to commit suicide, how you are not going to make it, or how you want to give up so bad, then you have a long way to go in building your determination. My dad would always say to me ‘a pessimist would see a glass cup with water filled up midway and say the cup is half-empty, meanwhile an optimist would see the same glass cup and say the cup is half full’. This explains the fact that people see life from different perspectives, a pessimist would only focus on the bad aspects of life while an optimist would try to see the good aspects of life or even see the bad and make the best out of it. A pessimist focuses on what is missing, what he or she doesn’t have – the half empty glass. An optimist, on the other hand focuses on what he or she has- the half full glass. What you tell yourself when you are in a difficult situation matters a lot because that determines your strength and weakness at that point. What do you tell yourself in the face of difficulties?

  • Do you say- I am definitely going to fail or you say I will pass no matter what.
  • Do you say- I feel like committing suicide now or I will overcome this problem because my God is bigger than it.
  • Do you say- I am going to give up or you say I am going to endure till the end.

What exactly do you say to yourself?

Here is a way out, when in difficulty think to yourself, I have an ambition, I am destined to be great, whatever problem I am facing right now is just a test of my strength and faith, nothing will stop me from succeeding not even the most difficult problems of life, I can do this!. Thinking positively this way will help you overcome your fears of whatever problem you have got.

The main point I would like to draw from all of this is- never ever let your difficult situations bring you down. Also for every situation you find yourself, always thank God because if you are shown the life of every single person on this earth, you would find out that there are people with worse situations.

The fact that you are alive, that you can walk, see and talk is more than enough reason to be happy despite the difficulties. Life can be full of difficult situations but it is up to you to make those difficult situations into favourable ones.

One last thing, whenever you face a difficult situation, have that faith and look up to God, He is right there just waiting for you to call on him…:)

I’ll leave you with this quote I found on the Internet;

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection – Thomas Paine

 

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Should you judge a book by its cover?

I am indifferent about this so I have come up with the idea of presenting two sides of the story because there are two sides of a coin. Here we go;

Why should you judge a book by its cover?

Only a desperate and unsettling person would judge a book by its cover. I’ll start with this adage ‘Not all that glitters is gold’. The fact that a book looks good on the outside doesn’t mean the story in it is interesting and  just because a book looks ugly does not mean it doesn’t contain an interesting story . Whatever happened to having an inquisitive mind. These days, people are so engrossed with the front page that they never bother to look inside to find out what the content entails. This applies to human beings as well, we focus on outer views of human and we judge them just by looking at them.

  • A girl has dressed in skimpy clothes; does that mean she’s a prostitute? She might just be a sweet loving person on the inside.
  • A guy uses studs  and has many revealing tattoos; does that portray him as being bad? He might mean no harm and  just see it as him being fashion conscious.
  • Someone has dressed shabbily; does that mean nothing sensible would come out of their mouth? they might just be the one who have the sweetest words.
  • Why judge a book by its cover, when you can know more about it just by reading the story in it.
  • You met someone once and he/she did not sound nice to you, does that mean that’s their behaviour? You never know, they might just be having a bad day.
  • If a house looks good on the outside; does that mean the inside is sparkling clean? It might even by dirtier than a slum.

I agree that it is a long process, having to open a book to view its content, when you can just glance at the cover and conclude. Hmm.. Don’t forget, sometimes treasures can be hidden in the dirtiest places; it is left for you to decide if you want to just take a glance at the dirty place and turn back or if you want to go in search of the treasure even if it means getting into dirt. This is why I feel you should not judge a book by it’s cover.

Why should you not judge a book by it’s cover?

The package of something depicts how lovely the contents are.

Take for instance  someone gets you a gift, and this gift is in a torn and shattered wrapping paper, right there you are thinking ‘why does this look so ugly’.  Its not about you not being appreciative, it’s just the way the mind works. On the other hand, if the gift was in a lovely wrapper, the fact that the package alone is lovely makes you have that good feeling of the content. This is just the way it applies to human.

  • If you decide to dress in skimpy dresses, don’t be surprised when you get harassed, it’s because of the way you have packaged yourself.
  • If you’re a guy and you use studs, don’t be surprised if people tend to think you are bad, it’s because of your package.
  • If you have many revealing tattoos all over your body, don’t be surprised when people in public give you bad looks. It’s simply because of your package.
  • If  the only way you think you can dress is by wearing torn clothes all in the name of fashion, don’t be surprised if people see you as someone who’s not serious. It’s simply because of your package.
  • If you have acted badly to someone on your first meeting, don’t be surprised when the person makes a conclusion about you. It’s only because ‘first impression lasts forever’.
  • I was watching this singing audition the other day and this guy came in looking all dirty, and the first thing the judge asked was ‘do you think I want to listen to you with the way you look’. As much as that sounded rude, it was the truth, you wouldn’t want to venture in to details if the package doesn’t look attractive. It’s not every now and then, that you have the time to open the pages of the book.
  • This is why i feel, a book deserves to be judged by it’s cover, because the cover says it all.

Now relating this to the real world, my question is, should we focus on making our cover attractive forgetting totally about the details of our book?. The cover here can be our appearance, and the details of the book is what comes out from us, words of our mouth, character we possess, behaviour we display. On the other hand, is it possible to make your cover look attractive and also make the contents interesting without having to compromise?…Hmmm..

Time

Last week was quite stressful and I am so happy it came to an end…*sighs* was it the numerous course works? Or the endless assignments…Hmm…All the same I thank God I scaled through safely. There was this particular coursework I left unattended to, until the deadline, and I had to start rushing on the deadline, just to make sure that I handed it in. If only I hadn’t left it until so late, maybe I wouldn’t have had to start rushing which kinda resulted into me making silly mistakes. Procrastination they say is the thief of time. This brings me to my post for today. ‘Time’

Few days ago I sat thinking of exactly what time meant, but to my utmost surprise, I couldn’t even come up with a better description other than time= distance/speed. Well before you judge my definition, am actually right in terms of physics…lol. As at the time, I was writing this post, I still had not come up with a definition for ‘Time’. What is time? How do you differentiate one time from the other? Is it just common sense or is it way more than that?

I would say its way more than that because, if being able to differentiate time was just common sense, then a lot of people will not be doing things at the wrong time or on the other hand, maybe its just common sense with people preferring to turn their back on the truth.  You know you are meant to be doing something at a time but you choose to do something different all because you are hiding from the truth. Sometimes we even waste our time unknowingly, and sometimes we lie to ourselves just to enjoy the fun of the moment. When I say ‘fun of the moment’, I mean, you deciding you want to spend your time on something with a ‘short run’ benefit than spending it on something with a ‘long run’ benefit. I’ll give an example of trying to enjoy the fun of the moment. There was this girl, she loved having fun, fun in terms of going out, partying, having a boyfriend(at least that was fun to her). Her parents wanted her to focus on school, but no! She turned deaf ears because she felt it was going to take so much effort for her to ignore all the fun part of her life and then focus on school. To her she was enjoying ‘life’, but what she did not know was that she was wasting ‘Time’. All she focused on was enjoying the ‘fun of the moment’.  Years after, she ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time, all because she did not utilise her time well. Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing bad in having fun, or having a boyfriend/girlfriend but the lesson from this is for us to PRIORITISE, do the right thing at the right time. My supervisor in sec school would say ‘suffer now so you can enjoy later’. I was so ignorant of what he was saying then, because the only thing I based my analysis on was the word ‘suffer’. How can he ask us to suffer?  That’s wicked; these were the thoughts going on in my naive mind then. Well now, I can fully analyse it and explain that what he meant was, make good use of every time and every opportunity you have now so that in future you can benefit from the fruits you have planted.

As much as the truth hurts, we sometimes have to relate to it, have you ever sat down to ask yourself ‘How well do I use my time’ what do I use my time for?

Am I reading when am supposed to be reading, partying when am supposed to be partying, praying when am supposed to be praying, chatting when am supposed to be chatting, am I in this relationship at the right time, am I in this job at the right time, is this the time to focus on whatever I am focusing on right now, am I at the right place at the right time?  Am I starting this project at the right time? How well can I differentiate my time? Time is so powerful, that once it is lost, it becomes the past, and you can not regain it. Do I sound like miss perfectionist? Well I have got my flaws as well, but what helps you to correct your flaws is when you come in terms with it, accept you have gone wrong and make amendments. At one point or the other, we have all spent our time doing the wrong things, no doubt. We can not be so perfect in terms of using our time efficiently, I agree! but my point here is, we might not be able to become all perfect with using our time, but we can start gradually by experimenting with little things.

Time is like a precious treasure that has been put into your care, it is left for you to decide how to nurture it, would you rather treat it well by making good use of it or would you maltreat by not using it well. It’s up to you. Time is like money that has been given to you for investment, the obvious aim you would want to achieve on the long run is to make profit so that the money multiplies. If you do not invest wisely, it could result in you making a loss instead of profit.  This is just how it applies to  time, spending your time on productive things is just like investing, the yield of those things you have spent your time doing will be the profit or loss. How well do you use your time?

It is one thing to have the time and it is also another thing to utilise it well. Some of us have the time, but we choose to spend it on the wrong things. Time is so precious that you can’t afford to disregard it; some people are out there wishing they had the time you have now, because they have learnt their lesson, but guess what? It’s too late because that time has been lost. You have the time now, utilise it, and make good use of every second, minute and hour . Spend it on things that are worthwhile, spend it on productive things. Don’t wait till everything goes bad, start now! and if you want your future to be bright, you have to spend your time on the right things.

If you spend your time on the right things, at the end of the day, you can look back with no regrets on how you have spent your time. Time waits for no man, opportunity knocks but ONCE. If you use your time well, you would be at the door when opportunity comes knocking, but if you use your time wrongly, you might just be sitting on the sofa when opportunity comes and by the time you get to the door, it would be too late.

Having said this…Feel free to comment by giving your definition of time, I mean in your own words.

Before I stop…uhmm a friend of mine gave me a definition, hmm God help us with all this people going to school ehn! Too much grammar… Here’s what he said;

‘Time is what guides everything we do, it causes universal equilibrium in an irreversible succession’’

Yeah am thinking what you’re thinking…Lol

If you can dream it, you can achieve it!

Hiya everyone..I’ll start this new post by making reference to my last post. Thanx to those who commented and followed, love you all. After reading my last post, I thought to myself, Oluwakemisola, you also need to make choices. Then I made my first choice, which was to go to church rather than sleep at home(good choice rite?..I know). Well I’m glad I made that choice because I was really blessed by the sermon. It was all about achieving one’s goal in life, I wrote down a bit which  I have now modified using my words to make it more comprehensive…so I thought, I might as well share it.


My question for you; What are goals? Goals are things you want to achieve. Now, do you have goals? What are your goals? How do you aim on achieving them? Do you have any set objectives?

Well, these questions all seem too much to be asked at once, but I can offer some answers on how you can achieve your goals in life.

Determination: You need to be determined, determination keeps you going even when everything is tough. Determination makes you see the hurdles of life as blessings in disguise. Determination is when you turn your ‘I can’t’ into ‘I can’, your ‘impossible’ into ‘possible’, your ‘pessimism’ into ‘optimism’, your ‘No’ into ‘Yes’.

Dream: Someone who wants to achieve his/her goal must be ready to dream, by dreaming I don’t mean fantasy dreams, love dreams or dreams that arise from your thoughts. I mean dreams in terms of what your aim is in life, dreams in terms of what you hope to achieve, dreams in terms of what direction you are moving towards in your life. Having a dream is  a step towards achieving your goal. By having a dream, you have an idea of where you are going to. Not having a dream and wanting to achieve a goal is just like going on a journey without having a means of getting there, yet you want to get there.

Discipline: Discipline is really important, as it helps you to set rules and standards for yourself. Having rules and standards helps you on your way to achieving your goal.

Diligence: The people who achieve goals are those who work hard for it. You want to achieve a goal? then you have to be diligent, you have to be careful with every step you take. Am sure you don’t want to go one step forward and several steps backward.

Have a vision: It is one thing for God to open a door and it is another thing for us to walk through it. Many people pray day and night for God to establish them, yet they do not have a vision. Some people are myopic in their vision, they can only see as far as the things close to them, they don’t dream big. Having a myopic vision only determines the extent of your goal, because the extent of your vision determines the extent of your possession. My advice for you is to start dreaming big! and make sure you work hard to achieve it!

Step out of your comfort zone: Many of us feel so relaxed in our comfort zone that we do not look beyond the present.Sitting in your comfort zone will get you nowhere,if u want to achieve  your goal then you need to take that bold step because ‘the journey of  a thousand miles begins with a single step’ . Sometimes we fail to take that bold step because of the fear of embarking on a journey into the unknown. Also  most people are caged by their inner fear, you need to break that cage and set yourself free. The strength lies within you, you just have to find it and utilise it.

Some of us pursue our dreams, yet we do not reach that goal, ever wondered why? it’s all because we get distracted. Ask yourself today; am i on the right part to achieving my goal? how far am I from achieving my goal? have I focused on something else other than achieving my goal?…After answering these questions, work on your weak points and try to turn them into your strong points. It’s never too late to start dreaming because if you can dream it, you can achieve it

Your life….Your Choices!

Choices are about making  decisions between the good and bad, fine and ugly, good and better, better and best. Choices could have a major effect on you , this could be a good or bad one, which is why one should avoid making terrible choices. Would you prefer to make a choice that would have a negative impact on you? or Would you prefer to make a choice with a positive impact?.. well I’ll leave you to answer that.

When making choices, most people only consider themselves, they leave out all other people who would be affected. After all they are the ones making the choice why should they bother about anyone. This shouldn’t be the case.

The problem I have with making a choice is that, most of the impacts do not surface until the  choice has been made. This then results in you having to make a blind choice. Yes! I have been through this. Making a blind choice is more like taking a risk, because you don’t know what is going to happen, or how it is going to affect you. Take a look at picture above, there are two arrows, they give a really vague in fact no idea of the impact. It is either you take one way or the other. The arrows do not show which of the choices is bad and which one is good, the person would then have to take a risk in making his choice. What amazes me is that, sometimes people see these impacts clearly, that they can tell which choice is good and which is bad, yet they still end up making the wrong choice. Would we call this ignorance or just people not being honest with themselves.

I agree it is difficult to make choices, I mean we are all human and we face challenges in life. The scary part of making choices is when you are faced with two possibilities..hmm..yeah two possibilities. I was thinking of this, then i decided to jot down some examples to give a clearer meaning of what i meant by ‘two possibilities’ .

  • Going to church or sleeping at home: As much as sleeping is such a good thing,  (I mean who doesn’t like sleeping..well I do..lool) going to church is also awesome. Much as we consider it essential to go to school or work, not many people think its compulsory to be in church. Sleeping at home is good in the sense that you get to relax especially when the only day for you to rest is Sunday. It is not compulsory to go to church, but think to yourself, how will this affect my spiritual life?  will sleeping at home get me to heaven?. Your life your choices!
  • Reading or partying: Yeah sure one sounds like fun, while the other sounds boring, yet the two of them are possible. Making a choice here is easy, ask yourself should i read or party? what happens to my grade? what happens to my CGPA?, which one will be of better benefit to me?. Of course there are going to be people who would feel partying will be of more benefit than reading, yeah it could be ‘at certain times’. It’s all about making choices. Your life your choices!
  • Having pre-marital sex or abstaining: It is easy to abstain, yes it is and it is also easy to have sex(lol).It is left for you to decide which one you want. Think of the positive impact(you become a pro) and the negative impact(you lose your dignity) . Then ask yourself.. which do i prefer?.Your life your choices!
  • Letting go of someone you love or holding onto them: It’s all about choices. Yes! holding onto someone you love shows that you care for them, so letting them go means you don’t care? no it doesn’t, sometimes it just means you have held on enough and you now feel its time to let go. When making this kind of choice, ask yourself what would this person add to me if I hold on to him/her, am I better off without him/her, am I holding on to the wrong person?..when making your choices, try to separate your emotions from your choices. Don’t make silly choices all in the name of love..be wise..Remember  Your life, your choices!
  • Dressing decently or exposing your body: Of course its your body, your choice. But remember the body is the temple of the lord..watch how you treat it. when dressing, ask yourself of what image you are portraying to the public. Exposing your body could be a good option for you, as in you get to show all your accessories. Another thing is, the way you present yourself is the way people would see you. You wouldn’t dress badly and expect people to see you as being responsible, so make the right choice because Your life, your choices!

where you are today, you are there because;

  • God has made a choice to keep you alive and take you to that position: makes me remember a song; ”so am here today because he kept me, am alive today only because of his grace…..”.God has chosen to keep you which is why you are still alive.
  • You have made a choice to strive to reach and exceed that position: take for instance, you are faced with two situations where you have to either aim for a Master’s Degree or settle for a Bachelor’s Degree. It is left for you to make a choice on whether you want to aim for that degree or you just want to settle for the bare minimum. it’s all about choices

whatever choice you make in life, make sure that it has a positive impact on you and those that will be affected. Don’t let your choices mix with your emotions. For every decision you make, ask yourself questions, be totally honest with yourself, think about those who will be affected and how it will affect them.  life is the sum of all your choices,  that is why the choices you make today are likely to have impacts on you in the future. So please choose wisely and remember Your life, Your choices!

First blog

Wow..Unbelievable!..can’t actually believe I am blogging..lol. It took me so long to decide if I wanted to start blogging..but oh well..here I am..My name? Oluwakemisola Borisade..Ill give more details later..

To the business of d day, MARRIAGE..hmm..loads of stuff running thru my head just by typing that word. Was having a chat with my friends today and someone randomly mentioned marriage..yeah randomly!..u know that moment when everyone is discussing about something and there’s this one person who has been silent all along and just decides to come up with a random topic..that was how this started..but there was an argument(friendly one)..some believed marriage was full of only joy and happiness while I felt marriage was full of joy as well as problems..Am not a pessimist, am just a realistic person.

image

Here are the reasons I gave;

  • You are stuck with this one person for life! oh! except u get a divorce which I wouldn’t advice, so lets say you are someone who gets bored easily when in a relationship..hmm I wonder aw you would  scale though this.
  • In-laws who sometimes would probe into your marriage and cause problems. Mind u, u cant avoid them.
  • Arguments spring up from nowhere..atimes even d slightest things could cause arguments between you two.
  • sometimes partners find it hard to solve their own problem which results into seeking advice from third parties..even more problem
  • A woman who thinks her husband is over protective or a man who feels his wife is showing off herself to other men as if she was single.

These and many more are the reasons why I think marriage is not all that interesting(some part of it may b though) neither is it something  you should rush into. Being in love is not just enough..think to yourself;

  • Is dis d right person?
  • Have I prayed?
  • Do I see a future husband/wife in dis person?
  • Can I cope with living with him/her for the rest of my life?
  • Can I put up with  his/her flaws?..

This is where I stop typing and say bye..much love

Finebethy..xx

Aside

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