The Silent Treatment!!!!

Wow! that’s all I can say! (covers face) I know my last blog said I was back full-time and then I just went off again ( yh yh I know).  Am sooo  sorry (puts on puppy face), there’s just been too much to deal with and in life one has to learn to  prioritise in every situation. Still not enough excuse,  but I apologise all the same.

Now to the matter at hand, hmm I want to talk about silent treatment. First of all, for those who do not understand what silent treatment is, it’s simply a way of communicating with someone without using words because they have offended you. Well correct me if am wrong but this is mostly common among girls or ladies like most of us like to be called (smiles).

Silent treatment mostly happens when someone has annoyed you and you expect them to use their sense to just magically know what they have done wrong. Now this is not you  telling the person ‘hey you offended me by spilling my drink’ , this is you ignoring the person when he/she says hi to you or just giving faces. Now I hope I have explained what silent treatment is all about.

I was reading an article and it just struck me that silent treatment could actually destroy relationships. When I say relationships, I don’t necessarily mean Man/Woman, I mean relationship generally e.g family, loved ones, friends and so on. Sometimes we do things that are clearly wrong and try to convince ourself that they are right. You never understand how silent treatment hurts until its done to you.

Am not trying to sound like the ‘all perfect Kemi’ , I am certainly guilty of this myself but like I would always point out, part of what defines our strength is the ability to always learn from our mistakes. I have also noticed that silent treatment could actually cause emotional stress for the receiver.

What is my point? My point is, communicate with words instead of punishing that person, and like my father would always remind me ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’. So when you decide that someone has offended you and you want to use your skills (silent treatment) to deal with the person, think of how the person might feel and if you would want it to be done to you.  So call that person you are giving silent treatment and sort out your issues today.

🙂

It’s been a minute!

Am sitting here on the bus from work thinking ….why have I neglected my blog for so long 😦 maybe because I have been involved in loads of things over the past few months or maybe because the inspiration to blog kinda ceased..lol. Anyway here I am, back with full force ( well I hope!).

Over the months, a whole lot has happened. Made mistakes, learnt new things, moved closer to God, made new friends, break-ups, make-ups, met targets, visited new places and so many more. Above all, no regrets whatsoever, thank God for that.

Today I haven’t got much to say, I just wanted to point out something. If u aim to reach a goal (positive :p) or achieve a target in life, don’t ever let anyone or any situation reduce your level of determination or confidence. In order words believe in yourself! Even if people decide to turn against you, still believe in yourself, work hard and ofcourse Pray. Oh! And don’t ever forget, God always has the best plan in place for you.
🙂

Dear Daddy,

Permit me to make a small introduction just to clear the air, I promise it will not be so long.

Being a father isn’t a small job that anyone can just undertake, it involves lots and lots of duties. It is one thing to be a man, another thing to be a husband, but being a father is something that is entirely different from the first two.

Well, Someone can have attributes of a being a man and not of the other two. For instance, a man just has to fend for himself and  his family e.g. his parents, siblings and other extended families (optional).

A husband on the other hand has an additional mouth to fend for, i.e. his wife. He has to take care of his family, and also take care of his wife (hmm.. his wife’s family too). He has to be able to strike a balance between the two of them without causing problem. He will be required to attend to the needs of his family as well as that of his wife.

Now the most difficult one out of the three is the FATHER, by being a father, a man has the responsibility to provide for his children without leaving out the responsibilities of being a man and also being a husband. A father combines four responsibilities meaning, he has to fend for himself, he has to look out for his family by taking care of his ageing parents and unmarried younger siblings, he has to attend to his wife’s needs by acting as a responsible husband to her, and lastly he has to be a loving father to his children.

Daddy, when I look at you I see an ambitious man, a man who does not settle for less but would always work hard to reach a better position, a man who grabs the golden opportunities in life and makes the best use of it, a man who is ready to go any length for those he loves, a man who gives the best advice, a man who thinks it’s never too late to pursue your dreams, a man who never relents on his effort, a man who is an helper, a man who is more than a friend, a man who is not put back by difficulties but sees them as challenges he must undertake, a man who one can always rely on, a man who I would always love, above all I see a father.

Looking back to where it all started from, it gives me joy to see that we have come a long way and you have always stood by me. You have been a mother and a father at the same time (going by grandma’s definition of you). Even those times when I was the ‘not so good child’, you chastised me and always found a way to draw me closer again, you always drew me close even when I did not appreciate the things you did then.

To say it like it is, daddy you have been my source of inspiration and my role model, you’ve taught me to pursue my dreams no matter how hard things might seem, you’ve taught me never to settle for the bare minimum but to always aim high, you have taught me to accept life the way it is, you have helped me to know that I cannot always get everything I want the way I want it but I can always make good use of every situation I find myself in, with your help I have found my inner strength and potential, today I see difficult things and decide to do them not because I love them but because my daddy has taught me that there is no such thing as ‘difficult’ you just have to pray and search for your inner potential and strength to do it.

You are the reason why I will rather research on questions to get answers than rely on people because you have taught me to learn to be independent, you are the reason why I decide to solve the same maths question for close to 1 hour until I get it just because you tell me to never give up, you are the reason why I dream positively and work towards achieving a goal in life because you always say, to achieve a goal in life I have to be positive in my thinking. Sometimes you might not say the nicest words when trying to explain things to me, but looking past those words, I see the love that brings about those things you say and this motivates me to work harder in everything I do.

Going by general definition you might not be the richest father, but when I look at what you have achieved for yourself and when I listen to you talk about your aspirations and dreams.  I say to myself  ‘this man is the richest father’ because by my definition the richest father is a father who has goals and still strives to pursue them even in his old age.

Daddy you have been wonderful, I couldn’t have asked God for a better father because you are my definition of the best father. In my prayer, the major thing I always pray for is for me to make you proud, and for me to make you experience the joy of fatherhood.  If there is one wish and prayer I would make to God, it would be for God to preserve and keep you so that you can eat the fruits of your labour. Thank you so much for everything, I love you forever and a day more. Happy father’s day ❤

With love from Oluwakemisola

My beloved country

‘’Nigeria my beloved country

Working together is the key

Nigeria my beloved country

Our future is you and me’’

This was a song by Funmi Adams for Nigeria and many seem not to listen to songs like this again due to evolution of songs by modern artists. I used to listen to this song when I was little, and I had an uncle then who helped me to memorise the lyrics of the songs so much that it became my favourite song and I sang it almost everywhere I went.

If only GEJ would listen to this song and also listen to great nation by Timi Dakolo, he would probably gather some motivation to act up. Motivation to address the situation at hand with wisdom and proper sense, everyone keeps saying we need prayers, of course we do but then what will the prayer do if the so called leaders are busy spending lavishly when in fact they should be protecting masses. It’s just like going to an exam but you decide not to read and say I’ll just keep praying which kain miracle you dey find? Dame patience keeps shouting that pastor Adeboye has prayed for her husband well good enough he has, but still Nigeria needs strong leaders, leaders who have a sense of direction, leaders who understand the meaning of prioritising, leaders who would put the interest of the public over their selfish desires, leaders who would not put the life of people at risk all in the name of money.

153 people died!!! That is just saddening, everyone keeps saying GEJ was not the pilot but have they for once thought of the fact that he is the president and that he has power over every sector in the country, have they thought of the fact that he could have banned that plane from operating due to its malfunctioning, have they thought of the fact that instead of buying stupid private jets he could have tried to grant subsidies to the aviation sector, so they can get new air planes. The plane was 22 years old, if people are not allowed to bring in cars of more than 15 years why then would you allow a plane of 22 years to fly, yet again it all dies down to selfish desires. Then people blame Dana air for being selfish and considering profit, of course they would when the so called leaders of their country aren’t any better than them. They all spend money lavishly on luxuries, send their children to the best schools, and drive the best cars while the people they serve wallow in poverty.  If GEJ had sense of direction, he probably would have noticed things like Dana air plane of over 22 years and not things like changing the name of a University. Then he thinks of going for 2015, gosh the love of money is the root of evil indeed because if he loves this country as he claims, he would not even venture into thinking of another term. Fair enough, they are now taking actions, but these should have been taken long time ago, human lives do not need to be lost before the leaders take actions.

Am not blaming GEJ for the loss, because I get the fact that corruption is what made the owners of the airline put the lives of 153 people at risk, but if the government is going to stop corruption from happening then it should start from the government itself. You can’t be a corrupt leader and try to lead your people from corruption, No! You lead yourself out first and then you can bring your followers out. I think the main solution to this is to wipe out all these corrupt leaders especially all those PDP members because the government basically revolves round them and Jona was just a scape goat that was used to carry out their selfish and wicked acts. If he loves himself, I say again if Goodluck Eberechuckwu Jonathan loves himself, he should not go for another term. Simples!

I know my ranting will not bring back these lives, neither will it console their families but I just thought I needed to voice out my opinion (which I feel is the truth) to clear my mind even if it means pouring my heart out on my blog at least that’s my best friend for now. May all the souls of those that departed rest in peace, and may God keep and guide the families they left behind.

 

A slap to be remembered!!!

I watched a clip from big brother star game, not that I watch it often but I just decided to go and do gbeborun when I heard that some dude slapped a girl (yeah I love doing gbeborun once a while..lol). The first thing I said when I heard was ‘’naah it is wrong to hit a girl’’, but then I wasn’t going to judge until I had watched the video. So I watched the video on YouTube, and what amazed me was the fact that people kept talking of how it was wrong for the guy to hit her but no one mentioned how it was wrong for her to have provoked him. You don’t provoke a guy and expect make him siddon dey look you except the guy na very cool-headed young man like someone I know…lol

I mean who goes to peep on a guy in the bathroom when he’s not your b.f or your husband (wetin you dey find?). Well I know that big brother is a stupid show that condones all sort of immoral acts but if the guy doesn’t feel comfortable with the girl peeping on him then she should have gotten the memo that he does not want to do mummy and daddy..lol and she should have apologised instead of insulting him. Come to think of it, she asked for a slap and he gave her, so people should not only blame the guy for slapping her, they should also blame her. That is why it is not good to ask for anything without thinking because you never know you might just get it.

The words that come out of some women (especially Africans), are terrible because they can push you to the wall and even push you farther than the wall sef if space still dey. I mean women/girls/ladies (whichever one you call yourself) should watch their mouth; sometimes the words of your mouth may save a situation. For instance, if when the guy came to talk to her, she had apologised, the guy would have left without doing anything but the fact that she was swearing at him and even ran to block his way provoked him. The thing wey pain me the most be sey, some women na only mouth them get(errr I think am one..lol) they can’t fight, so why disturb the sleeping dog? Hmmm..please women should watch the way they talk to men.

Now for the guys, guys shouldn’t hit a woman regardless; in extreme situations the best thing to do is walk away. In fact do not exchange words with them, because that way you are showing maturity in its highest form. If the guy had just walked away when she asked for a slap he would have averted the trouble and they would not have gotten disqualified.Men should understand that some women talk like parrots(radio without batteries), they can talk for africa, they can say very mean words, but it is your duty as a guy to just keep calm and ignore her till she don finish.

As to my opinion, I feel two of them deserved to be disqualified and they should be sent to go for anger management class.

Please remember I said, I don’t watch big brother because on my part  I feel it’s a stupid excuse for a show, I only watched it just to see what people were yarning about. The end of my ranting, thank you for reading :D.

This is the video if you have not seen it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esvIoO_b8NM

N:B: Gbeborun means errr poke nosing(for those who do not understand..lol), and siddon means sit down..:)

A new month

A new month, a new beginning, a new start; it’s a new month and it’s precisely the month of June. The month June depicts a beginning of the second half of the year. It’s been a wonderful journey for me so far in the year 2012; I have made friends, learnt lessons, developed my communication and listening skills and grown closer to God.

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In the beginning of a new month, you should sit and ask yourself of the achievements you have accrued in the past month,  the things you have failed to do, the commitments you have failed to stand by, the promises you have failed to fulfil, the mistakes you have made and the lessons you have learnt. Now coming into the new month, you should endeavour to analyse these things and point out where you have done well and where you have not. In those areas where you have done well, you should try to keep your performance steady as you enter into the new month and in those areas where you have failed, try to ponder on the things that might have gone wrong, why they have gone wrong and how you can make it better. Ask yourself what you have achieved so far this year, if you cannot pin point anything, then its not to late to start working towards achieving something, so that at the end of year you can look back and say I have achieved this in the year 2012. A quote read thus: ”you are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream”

On a side note, I love this month!!! Lol. It’s my brother’s month, it’s the month when I finish my exams, its the month that shows  summer is fast approaching and lastly it makes me appreciate God so much, because half way through the year and am still alive, hale and hearty. No matter what problem you might be facing at the moment, put those worries aside because the fact that you are alive today is enough reason to show you that God cares. So don’t worry because everything is going to be fine: D

Happy new month everyone: D……Welcome to the second half of the year!!!!!!

A man of Vision

I would say the past few months have been really stressful, mostly due to the pressure from work and school,  couple with the fact that I have had to make some decisions that did not just go well with me. It got to a point when I sat down to ask what exactly was going wrong because the pressure seemed to be like a never-ending thing. This got to me so much that I could not even hide my anger, it was written all over my face. I started experiencing mood swings, happy this moment, sad another moment.  Then I said to myself Oluwakemi you can’t keep going on like this; anyway,  I braced myself up and said no matter what I will get through this. Now this brings me to my story

Long time ago, my aunt made me read a book written by this Nigerian guy, she did not only make me read it, she made me summarise it in writing. I felt that was punishment, two A4 pages of writing a story, gosh! All I did then was to just read the book and summarise without digesting its content. Little did I know that the contents of the book were powerful and inspiring.  Some days ago I found the A4 paper I used in summarising the book, I sat down to read it and I found out that it made more sense than I thought. When I read it, it felt like a load had been lifted off me; it felt like I found that motivation I was craving for.  You know sometimes when you feel a bit down and feel like everything is not going as you expect it to go, you just need that motivation, that encouragement, that vision to show you that you have a focus, the contents written on this piece of paper served as my motivation that faithful day and even till now it still does. I said I was not going to do any blogging until after my exams in June, but then after I read that piece of paper, my spirit lightened up and I told my self that I just had to share it, so here we go.

Martin Luther King and Abraham Lincoln

           

    Vision is the ability to see and also an ability to plan the future with great imagination.

  •  A man with vision is someone who possesses the ability to see what others do not see and think what others do not think. This can be explained in the sense that a man of vision is not taking in by failure, but says there is success when others are crying failure.
  •  A man of vision is upright when others are failing, not because he has the magic power but because he sees himself as a winner. A man of vision is always at rest and not frightened by difficulties for he knows what his future looks like. Becoming a man vision is not just a thing you say by mouth but you have to put in some actions to support your words.
  •  A man of vision always trusts in God because God has a planned life for us even before we are born.  God knows the future and our future can only be bright by depending on him to plan it for us.
  • A man of vision is never of anxious for anything because he will not be moved by any negative happenings. Since he knows what his future looks like; all he has to do is work towards it gradually with dependence on God.
  • If you want to become a man vision then you must never give up because winners never quit and quitters never win. Examples of men of vision that did not quit despite the troubles were people like Martin Luther King and Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln was defeated in business, legislature, as house of speaker, for the elector, the congress and many more, but still he did not quit because he had a vision. He later became the 16th president of the United States of America.
  •  One must see failure as an opportunity for success because a man of vision never accepts failure; rather he sees them as a set up for success just like the case of Joseph in the bible. Joseph had his brothers against him even to the extent that they plot to kill him, the wife of his master was also against him but he still succeeded because he never gave up and the Lord was with him
  •  As a man of vision, ‘’your vision determines your future’’. The poorest man on earth is not the man without a dime but a man without a vision. Most people are greatly packed with ideas but no vision to pursue them.
  • A man of vision must be focused and keep away from distractions because their aim is to distract you from being what you want to become.
  • A man of vision maintains positive attitude because those without vision, live in defeat, dream defeat because they never think of making it in life and they also think that success just comes by luck.
  •   For a man of vision, nothing is impossible because he depends on God’s word which says ‘With God all things are possible’’ so when everyone sees a situation as hopeless, he still believes that there is still hope.

Now from me to you: You have a future, depend on God, and trust in him for he has the master plan of your life. As a man of vision you must dare to dream big and I repeat DARE to, no matter how massive it might seem, never belittle a small start because to make it in life you have to start from somewhere. You should also make God’s word your standard and meditate on it day and night because God is faithful to those who follow him. Lastly, a man of vision must begin with the end in mind not minding how rough the road may be because you know someday you will get there.

I hope reading this has helped you just like it helped me. Thank you for reading 🙂

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